I can’t take credit for writing the following. Since you are reading my blog, chances are you will find some truth in it. . .
From time to time, people tell me, “Lighten up, it’s just a dog,” or “That’s a lot of money for just a dog.” They don’t understand the distance traveled, the time spent or the costs involved for “just a dog.” Some of my proudest moments have come about with “just a dog.” Many hours have passed and my only company was “just a dog,” but I did not once feel slighted.
What is the best way to introduce a new dog to the family?
I often hear of dogs who are being re-homed after being with their new family for only a few days. I understand the tension that can exist when you find that your beloved Prince doesn’t like the play mate you hand-picked for him. You were certain that getting another dog was the answer to helping him calm down.
If it were only that easy! All dogs are not created equal (in their minds)…they may want nothing to do with each other and yet separate them and they are wonderful, friendly beings. So, maybe getting a new dog wasn’t the best idea you’ve had, but re-homing too quickly may not be either.
The new dog should be in the home for a few weeks learning and earning their place. With you as the leader, take the introductions slowly. In our enthusiasm, we bring the dog in, introduce it to the other dog and go about our lives expecting (hoping) they will figure it out. Some do and some don’t. They are the ones who end up seeing their face on a “free to good home” ad. Taking the time to let the dog fit in more naturally may save everyone!
If you are bringing a new dog into your home and want to get off on the right track, please send a note in the My Question box to the right, and I will be happy to assist you! (I share the box with Melody)
Very few dogs won’t find enjoyment in a belly rub or any rub for that matter. They are also very smart. They learn quickly that if you ask them to do something – sit, stay, down, etc., and they choose to roll over for a belly rub, we fall for it. “Ah, they’re being submissive.” Maybe not. Why wouldn’t they drop and roll over for a belly rub if it means they don’t have to do as asked?
I do laugh when my dogs are resting and they will start to show me their belly when I’m only walking by to close the blinds or do something else. They don’t want to miss the chance that I will give them a pet so if I’m anywhere within sight, there’s a good chance I’ll see their movement and stop by for a rub.
I have met some dogs who will not show you their belly because they can’t risk making themselves too vulnerable. Is this action something they need to do or have to do for you to feel they are submissive? Absolutely not! Their touch of choice may be a scratch on the neck.
Just as a pat on the head or a rub of the ears is affection, remember that a belly rub is too. You decide when it is appropriate to respond. If not, your day will be filled with a dog’s nose lifting up your hand or arm for your affection. Begging for affection may be cute, but that’s about all. It is still begging.
Our dogs deserve our affection, it’s up to us to decide when!
In the 80’s there were some major changes in the thought on how to best raise children. In order to not hurt their spirit and to give them a little personal power, kids were given choices. A lot of choices. Oatmeal or dry cereal or maybe just some fruit? Tennis shoes, sandals, and which color would you like?
Giving kids choices is a good idea when they are of age to comprehend choice and consequence. Until then, the parent may do well to provide guidance and keep the peace by not giving a child so many choices they never get out the door on time.
I am mentioning this because I am finding a lot of this type of four-legged parenting. I hear things like, “my dog doesn’t like being on a leash.” “They are depressed when in their crate.” My dog doesn’t want to poop outside.” As a trainer who wants the best for you and your canine relationship, I have to say something. . . they don’t get a choice!
You are their provider and you are showing them moment by moment what life is like when they live with you. Not the other way around. When someone tells me they haven’t trained their dog, I remind them they have. The question is what have they trained them? Puppy training begins the second they come through your door. A dog can quickly adopt the idea that you have joined their family and they set the rules.
You can do more damage to their psyche by not being a consistent leader (or parent if that fits you better.) They don’t need a lot of choices in order to love and respect us.
Crates aren’t just for puppies anymore! Just because a dog is into adolescence, doesn’t mean they don’t need to have a safe place to be when you are away. Crate training is usually associated with housebreaking and then the crate goes out in the garage sale.
Maybe you don’t need it after the first few months; however, your dog may not be trustworthy until they are two years old. Don’t think of confining your dog to a crate or kennel as cruel. Think of it as their safe place. The place where they take naps while you are away or having guests for dinner.
If you have an adult dog who has never been in a crate, they can still adapt. Dogs are den creatures. Usually, they can be trained to enter the crate if you place their bed in it, throw in a dog biscuit as you say “crate” or “bed,” and close the door for a brief period of time so they get used to it.
Crating can be a life saver when bringing home a shelter dog. Until you know if they are housebroken or in a destructive mode, crating allows you both to relax as everyone adapts. If you are going away and need to board your dog or have them ride along in the car, prior crate training will be invaluable.
If you need additional specifics on crate training, please let me know in the box to the right.
Along the lines of giving a dog a job to do, agility training uses their focus and energy in a very fun way! It’s not about them being corrected for something they did wrong. It’s about being rewarded and praised constantly for getting it right!
And, “right” in this case is fun (usually for everyone). It’s easy for the handler (owner usually) to get too serious and set the bar (no pun intended) too high. The dogs are dogs and they’re not very good at being robots. If they were, we could leave fun out of the equation.
If you feel like the only time you spend with your dog is in training or in telling them “no,” try adding some fun by setting up jumps or other agility-type equipment in your home. Lay a broom handle across a stack of books and have your dog jump over it. Get a kid’s play tunnel and teach your dog to run through it. You’ll be on the other side! Be creative. For a change of pace, think of ways to use their energy and focus that isn’t quite so structured.
I recently participated in an agility event at a local senior center. It was a lot of fun for the dogs and the seniors!
It’s amazing to see all of the ads for puppies who are only 12 weeks old and already being re-homed! The opportunity of time they were given wasn’t much.
I recently read an article by Warren Buffett. He said something to the effect of – if you can’t or won’t invest 10 years in something, then don’t invest 10 minutes in it. He, of course, is referring to financial investments. I think it applies to other choices we make. Like adopting a dog.
Seldom when we have the pang of wanting a puppy do we think of how life will be for 10 years. It can be an emotional decision. It’s definitely not wise to go look and touch puppies or to ogle over one outside a grocery store prior to thinking of the 10 year approach. Or, to think you’ll just walk through the shelter and not have guilt win you over. Ten minutes at home with a new dog may be enough to make you reverse that impulse when it dawns on you that you don’t have time for a dog!
So, before you invest in a new pup, ask yourself if you can do this for 10 years. If not, then don’t do it for 10 minutes and risk you’ll make a decision you regret. If your time and budget are limited but you really need to be around dogs, the shelters welcome you. You can walk a dog or two, get your dog fix, and feel good about what you’ve done!
p.s. As I’m sometimes tempted to do, I have to expand this thought outside the realm of dogs and consider what it’d be like if that’s how we approached all relationships. . .
Do dogs really need toys? What is it that makes them so appealing? Do toys replace or fulfill the dog’s need to hunt and chase? Do they really think the stuffed bunny is a real rabbit? I guess the answer to that one is obvious.
What’s also obvious is that dog toys are now a huge business. There are dog toys for each holiday! We all know how dogs love the holidays and the new toys that are sure to be their possession. My dogs like Easter because they like to chase rabbits. They don’t dare chase Santa!
Let’s face it. . .the toys we choose are usually for us. Personally, I seldom let the dogs have stuffed toys because the disemboweling makes a fine, white, fluffy mess I am left to clean up. Unlike a real rabbit, they don’t eat these “guts” – or at least we hope they don’t!
The truth – dogs are happy being with us and while they love chewing and playing, it can be a cardboard box or plastic water bottle. It’s similar to how a small child has to learn that what is in the box is more important (and supposedly more fun) than the box! Dogs are much the same. Don’t feel like your dog won’t be happy if you don’t buy expensive stuffed animals.
If all of their toys are left lying around, they are sure to get bored which will lead you to buy even more toys. Leave out a few at a time and rotate the others. What was once old will be new again!
Some dogs do get a bit possessive over a stuffed treasure as though they hunted and killed it themselves. I do believe they fully know the difference between a “real” rabbit and the sherpa bunny. In case they don’t, I won’t be the one to spoil it for them!
Moving can be a little traumatic for our pets. Don’t underestimate the affects of this experience on your dog. Just because you are there along with their toys and bed doesn’t mean they will feel right at home any more than you will.
Let them get acclimated to their new surroundings. Go outside with them and explore the yard. Let them walk through the home. This isn’t to say they should sleep with you if they don’t normally or that the routine should change to somehow compensate for the change in their lives. It’s more about them feeling secure and to give that process time.
Keep their routine as “normal” as possible. Soon, your dog will learn that home is where you are!
