Not being married, I would change or add to the title: What Pets Can Teach Us About Marriage and Relationships. I didn’t write the article, but liked it enough to share it.
Guess what? Dogs bark. This isn’t the first time you have heard it from me. This post is another segment in why dogs bark. Here’s the scenario:
You are walking down the street with your dog on a leash and working on having your dog heel. Your dog spots another dog in the distance and starts barking (and barking and barking). What is your dog saying?
Your dog’s bark could be saying:
“Look a dog! Hi dog! I’m a dog! Come here dog. We can play!” Or…
“Oh no a dog! A big dog! A little dog! I don’t like how that dog looks or smells. I need to get that dog – now before he gets me (us)!” Or…
“Look a dog! Get me outta’ here! That dog just said he doesn’t like me and to prepare to defend myself. Run!”
There is so much more than just a bark happening in these moments. Some dogs have more obvious triggers than others, and it takes time in learning those triggers and if your dog is being assertive and dominant, passive and frightened, or just wants to have fun.
To those on the other end of the leash, it appears that when our dog sees a dog it goes crazy for no reason and we either panic or get embarrassed. I have a vocal dog, so I have to tell people, “sorry, he’s vocal.” It seems like common courtesy to apologize for our dogs barking. Seldom do humans apologize for being overly vocal. Granted a barking dog can be annoying but for them it is not without purpose.
Observe and learn from your dog, watch their body language, and while you can’t remove their ability to communicate, you can keep them from escalating into panic mode. You can acknowledge what they are saying and they should trust and respect your request for them to be quiet.
It is often said by dog lovers and advocates that our dogs just want to please us. All they want is for us to be happy and happy with them. There is a lot more to it than this.
I consider myself to be a practical trainer/behaviorist. I do what I do because of my love for animals with my focus being on the understanding and ever-growing knowledge of canine behavior. Personally, my dogs live a grand life. They have nice beds, they respond to commands, they are all now to a stage of wanting to please me. Why? Because they know me, and I know them. It can take years to create this type of relationship. It is worth it.
Pleasing humans is not inherent in a dog’s psyche. Being a member of a pack is. They don’t walk down the street and see a human and think, “oh, there’s a human being, I want them to be pleased with me.” In fact, the opposite may be true! They may have learned that humans are good and will give them food and affection, or they may have a negative association.
Much as it is with humans, respect of a dog is earned. I like to think the feelings are mutual – they respect me, and I respect them. Gaining a dog’s respect only happens when they know you and what to expect from you (this goes both ways).
Now, back to the question…do dogs really want to please us? Yes. Why? They want food, AND they do enjoy our attention and affection and all of the other experiences we share with them.
You may have a dog that has no interest in pleasing you. Some dogs act as though they just don’t care what we think and there is not an ounce of the need-to-please in their body. You can’t train that into them. You can accept their nature and look for ways to connect with them using their natural drive and instinct.
So, whether your dog appears to only want to please you or it never does; it is important to understand what makes them who they are and to be patient with the process.
The image of an adorable, petite Maltese may not come to mind when you think of a guard dog. Think again. Here are a couple of photos of Issa, whose responsibility every morning was to scare away the ducks on the backyard swimming pool. She excelled at this position. Until, one morning, no one prepared her for the miraculous, overnight growth of the ducks on her pool.
I love to watch the antics of my dogs after their bath time! If given a chance, most dogs will roll around and frolic after their bath. While it appears they feel great and are doing a dance of joy, my guess is they are trying to get their stink back on!
Here’s Melody, my little Yorkie, after her bath. She always makes me smile. I like to think I’m smiling with her.
I have clients, particularly those who have a dog with an unknown past, ask if I think their dog has been abused. One of the definitions given for abuse is misuse. I think it applies adequately to the amazing dogs who share our lives.
Misuse doesn’t feel as strong as abuse. If a dog is left alone in a yard without being socialized adequately, I consider that misuse. A dog in this situation may later appear as though someone had hit it because it becomes afraid of everything that wasn’t a part of its life as it matured. It can tuck its tail and cower when it hears an unfamiliar sound as if it had been hit.
A dog may cower and release their bladder when someone reaches for them as if they had been hit in the past, when really it was misused in the sense that it didn’t learn positive touch as a pup. Some of this behavior can be hard-wired, but a lot of it comes from how they are socialized and the appropriate attention given as they mature.
A high energy dog could be considered misused if it isn’t given a job. That job can come in the form of specific training, appropriate exercise, and/or something like agility training which provides focus, exercise, and structure.
Describing our dogs as having been abused should not be something we coddle or shy away from; rather we should find positive ways to encourage these beings to participate and be in life with a family. Most dogs who have been truly abused have forgotten or lost the ability to be dogs. There’s nothing like another confident dog to show them the way. I often bring a dog of mine to work with timid dogs. He does in minutes what could take me hours.
For as much as we love our dogs, we are humans! We need to spend less time attempting to see their humanness and more time seeing who they are as dogs. They will be much happier and so will we. Every dog is different just as every human is different.
If you think your dog has been misused or you may be contributing to a life of misuse, please contact me. I am glad to provide guidance. The more dogs who are happy dogs with happy humans, the fewer that end up in shelters.
If you are interested in what to do to work with your dog to focus on you while it exercises, learns, gains confidence, and has fun….try an agility class. This video is of my recent graduates from the beginner classes.
I came across the paperwork I had on my precious, little Melody. As I worked with some timid dogs at the local shelter to help them be adoptable, I met a not-so-happy Yorkie who had been surrendered. She had been a breeder at a puppy mill. This is the statement of surrender the woman had to sign in order for this no-kill shelter to take responsibility for her.
I read and re-read the above paragraph. Knowing Melody as I do now, it’s hard to imagine anyone being able to sign such an agreement. I am in no way faulting the shelter. This is what they have to do and this shelter is great and does so much for so many. I was fortunate enough to bring Melody home to help her trust human touch, and the rest is history.
If you or anyone you know, needs to re-home a dog, please do your best to find a home without surrendering to the already over-crowded shelters. It is traumatic for a dog to go from a loving home environment to a shelter. If I can be of assistance in any way, please let me know.
There are so many options when it comes to purchasing a collar for your dog. Should you use a harness? What type of harness is best? If using a collar, is the flat nylon style adequate? Some trainers will only train using a prong/pinch (or power steering collar, as I call them). My personal
favorite is the Martingale-style training collar.
Let’s face it, dog training is dog training when it comes to basic commands. It’s what happens when the leash and collar come off that is the true test. A lot of dogs go into their training mode when a specific collar is used for training versus the one used for a walk. They quickly learn what is expected depending on their “jewelry.” Much like a service or search and rescue dog knows it’s working when wearing a vest. Dogs are smart! We train them well (or they train us well). =)
I make certain that any dog I work with knows their commands regardless of their collar or harness. The collar and leash are tools. The end result is not that your dog responds nicely during the 15 – 20 minutes of training, but rather they listen, respect, and want to please you when training is done. Training becomes a way of life. Aren’t we always teaching others how to treat us!
After the basics, I suggest switching to a 15 – 20 foot leash to perfect “stay.” It’s also beneficial for teaching them to “come” and for distance learning. Too often, after puppy class, the leash and training are set aside until the dog does something not so pleasing to the human. I can assure you, the dog is always great at being a dog and not so great at thinking like a human. It takes (a lot) of time and consistency to create a mutually respectful relationship with your dog.
As a side note, I have seen too many dogs who were broken (for lack of a better word) by harsh training using a prong collar. Not every dog is the same, and it’s important to be willing to try different tools to see what works for your dog. If a trainer/behaviorist only does it one way, I’d find another trainer. No two dogs are the same any more than two humans.
I am happy to answer any questions you have, and if you live in the Palm Springs area, I would love the opportunity to work with you and your fur family.
