Very few dogs won’t find enjoyment in a belly rub or any rub for that matter. They are also very smart. They learn quickly that if you ask them to do something – sit, stay, down, etc., and they choose to roll over for a belly rub, we fall for it. “Ah, they’re being submissive.” Maybe not. Why wouldn’t they drop and roll over for a belly rub if it means they don’t have to do as asked?
I do laugh when my dogs are resting and they will start to show me their belly when I’m only walking by to close the blinds or do something else. They don’t want to miss the chance that I will give them a pet so if I’m anywhere within sight, there’s a good chance I’ll see their movement and stop by for a rub.
I have met some dogs who will not show you their belly because they can’t risk making themselves too vulnerable. Is this action something they need to do or have to do for you to feel they are submissive? Absolutely not! Their touch of choice may be a scratch on the neck.
Just as a pat on the head or a rub of the ears is affection, remember that a belly rub is too. You decide when it is appropriate to respond. If not, your day will be filled with a dog’s nose lifting up your hand or arm for your affection. Begging for affection may be cute, but that’s about all. It is still begging.
Our dogs deserve our affection, it’s up to us to decide when!
In the 80’s there were some major changes in the thought on how to best raise children. In order to not hurt their spirit and to give them a little personal power, kids were given choices. A lot of choices. Oatmeal or dry cereal or maybe just some fruit? Tennis shoes, sandals, and which color would you like?
Giving kids choices is a good idea when they are of age to comprehend choice and consequence. Until then, the parent may do well to provide guidance and keep the peace by not giving a child so many choices they never get out the door on time.
I am mentioning this because I am finding a lot of this type of four-legged parenting. I hear things like, “my dog doesn’t like being on a leash.” “They are depressed when in their crate.” My dog doesn’t want to poop outside.” As a trainer who wants the best for you and your canine relationship, I have to say something. . . they don’t get a choice!
You are their provider and you are showing them moment by moment what life is like when they live with you. Not the other way around. When someone tells me they haven’t trained their dog, I remind them they have. The question is what have they trained them? Puppy training begins the second they come through your door. A dog can quickly adopt the idea that you have joined their family and they set the rules.
You can do more damage to their psyche by not being a consistent leader (or parent if that fits you better.) They don’t need a lot of choices in order to love and respect us.
If you are visiting shelters in search of a new dog and are confused about which breed is best, I encourage you to do some research, but don’t eliminate a dog based on the stereotype alone. Different breeds definitely have their own unique qualities but these qualities are not exclusive.
As you consider which dog is best for your family, make an informed decision and one definitely based on the dog itself rather than the stereotype of their breed. Here’s an article on this subject:
Do all dogs need to have their teeth cleaned? Tooth decay is very common in dogs. Some breeds, much like some humans, are prone to plaque and issues with their teeth. Genetics and nutrition play a huge part in it. There aren’t any bones in the soft toys our dogs love to disembowel. Perhaps if there were, the dog would also get a teeth cleaning while they chewed.
Clients often look to me for advice and ask if I clean my dogs’ teeth. I have to say I don’t. Not that I wouldn’t if it were needed, but thus far, it hasn’t been an issue. I’ve been known to be the common sense trainer. So, here’s my advice, if you have a dog that needs preventative care or will face infection, clean their teeth. However, if your dog’s teeth look good and there’s no concern, don’t!
I was in the pet store and a woman was asking if she should buy the peppermint or chicken flavored toothpaste for her pup. I suggested she get the kitty litter flavor and her dog would welcome teeth cleaning.
Crates aren’t just for puppies anymore! Just because a dog is into adolescence, doesn’t mean they don’t need to have a safe place to be when you are away. Crate training is usually associated with housebreaking and then the crate goes out in the garage sale.
Maybe you don’t need it after the first few months; however, your dog may not be trustworthy until they are two years old. Don’t think of confining your dog to a crate or kennel as cruel. Think of it as their safe place. The place where they take naps while you are away or having guests for dinner.
If you have an adult dog who has never been in a crate, they can still adapt. Dogs are den creatures. Usually, they can be trained to enter the crate if you place their bed in it, throw in a dog biscuit as you say “crate” or “bed,” and close the door for a brief period of time so they get used to it.
Crating can be a life saver when bringing home a shelter dog. Until you know if they are housebroken or in a destructive mode, crating allows you both to relax as everyone adapts. If you are going away and need to board your dog or have them ride along in the car, prior crate training will be invaluable.
If you need additional specifics on crate training, please let me know in the box to the right.
Along the lines of giving a dog a job to do, agility training uses their focus and energy in a very fun way! It’s not about them being corrected for something they did wrong. It’s about being rewarded and praised constantly for getting it right!
And, “right” in this case is fun (usually for everyone). It’s easy for the handler (owner usually) to get too serious and set the bar (no pun intended) too high. The dogs are dogs and they’re not very good at being robots. If they were, we could leave fun out of the equation.
If you feel like the only time you spend with your dog is in training or in telling them “no,” try adding some fun by setting up jumps or other agility-type equipment in your home. Lay a broom handle across a stack of books and have your dog jump over it. Get a kid’s play tunnel and teach your dog to run through it. You’ll be on the other side! Be creative. For a change of pace, think of ways to use their energy and focus that isn’t quite so structured.
I recently participated in an agility event at a local senior center. It was a lot of fun for the dogs and the seniors!
It’s amazing to see all of the ads for puppies who are only 12 weeks old and already being re-homed! The opportunity of time they were given wasn’t much.
I recently read an article by Warren Buffett. He said something to the effect of – if you can’t or won’t invest 10 years in something, then don’t invest 10 minutes in it. He, of course, is referring to financial investments. I think it applies to other choices we make. Like adopting a dog.
Seldom when we have the pang of wanting a puppy do we think of how life will be for 10 years. It can be an emotional decision. It’s definitely not wise to go look and touch puppies or to ogle over one outside a grocery store prior to thinking of the 10 year approach. Or, to think you’ll just walk through the shelter and not have guilt win you over. Ten minutes at home with a new dog may be enough to make you reverse that impulse when it dawns on you that you don’t have time for a dog!
So, before you invest in a new pup, ask yourself if you can do this for 10 years. If not, then don’t do it for 10 minutes and risk you’ll make a decision you regret. If your time and budget are limited but you really need to be around dogs, the shelters welcome you. You can walk a dog or two, get your dog fix, and feel good about what you’ve done!
p.s. As I’m sometimes tempted to do, I have to expand this thought outside the realm of dogs and consider what it’d be like if that’s how we approached all relationships. . .
What if your dog gained access to the computer and saw their story and face on Craigslist in the pet section under the caption “looking for a new home.” What if they saw you were re-homing because you were busy or you thought they needed more room? I wonder what they would say.
This may seem a tad dramatic because many of us have fostered dogs or got them out of shelters and re-homed them or were in situations where we felt a new home was in the best interest of a dog. However, it is worth considering if you are re-homing a dog because you think it could do better. Remember where it came from. . .
If a dog has been in a shelter confined to a 5X5 space, being confined to a cozy home with random access to the outside is living in the lap of luxury. If you are considering re-homing because you are busy and don’t think you are spending enough time with your dog, consider where they came from. Chances are, if they are a rescue dog, they had minimal attention and definitely not anything compared to what it’s like in the security of a home.
I used to work 12 hour days, 7 days a week. I would feel tremendous guilt until I returned home to my amazing dog who was so happy to see me and never scolded me for working long hours. She had been saved! The life she knew in a shelter for nearly a year before my finding her was good, but now she was loved and cared for in ways she had never known.
I don’t write this to contribute to guilt, as we all do what we feel is best. I just want to point out that guilt is a human experience. So, if you are able to provide a loving home for a dog even if it’s not “perfect,” it could be much better than where they were or where they’ll be. If only you could ask them!
