Unless you decide otherwise! I don’t have a one-method-fits-all approach to dog training and behavior modification. There are rules and then, there’s the wonderful “whatever” command. It, of course, should be used sparingly and preferably not when an overly serious dog trainer is around.
I believe the first few weeks of a dog’s life in their new home is when the standards should be set. I would go so far as to say they shouldn’t be allowed on the bed or furniture and they should go through at least basic obedience and learn house manners. If the dog is worthy of sharing the space on their human’s bed, then it can happen after an appropriate amount of structure.
In my home, I have had a “no dog on the bed” rule and I’ve had the “you’re little so you can be on the bed” rule, and now, it’s more of a right of passage. The larger dog, Zoe, doesn’t sleep on the bed and only gets up after being told it’s okay. She asks first and it’s usually in the morning when I’m getting ready for work. All of the dogs know the meaning of the word “off” and I think it is important to enforce it so they will follow instruction if we are visiting a not-so-dog-accomodating home.
It’s funny to me that people have kids and understand the need for structure but their dog knows no boundaries. If you want boundaries and peace in the kingdom and when out in public, start it early and be consistent. Later, it will all seem so easy – especially when you get the opportunity to tell them, “whatever!”
This post is a reminder of how our dogs live in the moment and what we can learn from them. Dogs are in the moment. The moment. They aren’t thinking about dinner, wondering how far we are going to have to walk, or wishing they would have brought their phone or ipod. They are full of awareness of the myriad of scents, sights and sounds as they take each step.
It reminds me of the study on gorilla behavior while in the wild. If a gorilla is walking through the forest and sees bananas in a tree, they will then look for a stick to use to reach the bananas. A gorilla has never been observed to pick up a stick and walk through the forest in the event they may later find bananas to eat. You might be thinking that it’s good to prepare and that’s what separates us from animals. I agree – to a point; however, they have the added benefit of not worrying about what comes next. . .how about you?
Zoe is exuberant about her walks and meeting people. She stops to smell the roses along the way (okay – maybe the scent is not actually from a rose). One moment, I’m joining her in appreciation and observation of what is around me and the next moment I’m thinking about what to buy at the store later this evening or I get lost in the concerns of the economy. The point is to challenge ourselves to take a thirty minute walk with our dogs (or with a two-legged companion) and see if we can stay in the moment for the entire time. I am working on it, and it is a practice. Thanks to Zoe (and wonderful friends), I have great teachers.
It’s thoughtful Thursday – take a walk even if it’s from your work to your car and see if you can stay in the moment. It’s an amazing way to live – just ask your dog.
One thing I know for sure is that in order for me to be thankful for things I consider to be less worthy of gratitude, I have to start with those things I am truly thankful for – my home, my bed – you get the idea. Real gratitude somehow overflows and wraps itself around those things for which we are not quite thankful. For some, our dogs are on the top of the list. For others, perhaps with a puppy or with a dog that is difficult, gratitude is not an automatic. (Feel free to insert your kids, work, and/or mate!)
I have decreased my writing about training techniques because the market is flooded with information on how to have a well behaved dog. It’s always described as quick and easy! Yet, our dogs still pull on the leash, still bolt when they see a squirrel or cat running away from them, still bark at the mailman and still attempt to jump on people when greeting. I don’t know about your dog(s), but mine haven’t read one word from the books and are quite content being dogs and letting me figure out how to work with them.
So. . .what about (seemingly) misbehaving dogs brings me gratitude – they aren’t perfect and we don’t have to be either. They are forever two years old and need to be asked and reminded of those quick and easy dog training steps we just knew would fix them. I’m grateful that in the midst of our frustration with some of their behavior, they don’t just turn around and bite us for asking them to sit when their prey drive or zest for affection is declaring, “get rabbit – NOW” or “that human wants to pet me I just know it, I know it, I do, I do!
Most of us aren’t excited about putting on an extra six pounds. Even though it’s a small amount, six pounds can seem like a lot and can really change your life and how things fit.
As a post for Thankful Thursday, I am so grateful for the six additional pounds that changed not only my perspective on “little” dogs but also added a love that can’t be weighed. Here’s my six pounds (aka Melody) at the shelter where we first met and at home. Putting on a little weight turned out to be the best thing I could have ever done. Add a few pounds – you might love it!
My dogs are expected to share their beds. While Melody has no problem dominating the large dog bed, she does have a small bed which is where I usually find her. On occasion, when she gets up for a drink of water or something, Moby will quickly take her place. In fact, I think he pretends to hear something and runs to the door so she’ll follow him and then he races back to claim the prized little dog bed.
Just today, Moby was on the little bed when Melody tested the waters by slowing crawling up next to him and quickly lying down. Moby quickly exhaled his frustration, but rather than leave, he stayed next to her. I’m sure in his own way he drew a line between them and told her not to cross it.
Since this is a rare occasion, I decided to call it my Thankful Thursday; because it is, and I am.
…unless their last name is Terrier! It’s hard to understand why a cute, tiny girl would enjoy a snack of worm – be it dried, fresh, partial or whole. I’m surprised that kibble isn’t shaped in the image of a worm or bird poop, which most dogs find enticing. Here’s Melody (from a previous post) singing a sweet song with the same mouth that just ate a worm. Sugar and spice and everything nice. . .and perhaps a few other ingredients!
Who else can they be? I admit, along with most of my animal-friendly friends, it is easy to humanize our dogs. The more science reveals about our canine companions, it’s obvious why that is so easy to do. While I believe dogs do understand and communicate with us; unfortunately, for the dog, it isn’t fair to assume they think like we do.
I have walked by people with a dog they are less than happy with and can tell they have reached maximum frustration. Really, the dog in that moment is good at being a dog. It is up to us humans to learn what is triggering the undesired behavior. That is not the time to expect them to understand and self-correct their behavior because of our obvious embarrassment. They will do much better if we learn ways to work with them in a way they understand. That’s why I’m here!
It reminds me of times I spent with my niece when she was around the age of three to four years old. When I would start to feel impatient with her behavior, I would say, “you are acting like a four year old.” She would look at my quizzically and respond, “I am four.” I would just say, “I know, and you are good at it.” It was my way of reminding myself that she was indeed four and to expect her to act like an 8 year old wasn’t going to happen.
It’s all about acceptance and it applies to how we work with our dogs. Shelter dogs come to their new home with an unknown history. Even if we start out with basic obedience, in every situation that is new to them, they will be showing us who they are and it is up to us to take that information and find positive tools to redirect and support them as though they are what they are – dogs. That is in no way a less-than-us approach. It’s only fair to them.
Next time you are walking your dog and it does it’s who-knows-why random bark at a person or dog, it might help you to relax when you remember they are being a good dog. If you would like my assistance in better understanding your dog’s behavior, send me an email. I am happy to help!
