We need our dogs. I wonder if as humans we need to be needed. If we choose, we can learn a lot and gain a purpose outside of ourselves.
I knew that my dog needed me, but what I didn’t consider was how much her needing me was a part of my every day existence. She needed extra time for eating and she required a lot of special attention. I guess I was limited at times because of her. In those moments, I didn’t see it quite like that. She needed me.
She never complained. Dogs don’t. She never apologized either. She needed me. I would have chosen nothing else.
Until. . .I couldn’t help her any more. I couldn’t be happy enough to make her happy. I couldn’t empathize enough to heal her. I couldn’t get rid of the pain that was deep inside her.
I could let her need me for something far grander. A selfless gift of freedom from the fear that she carried in her. She needed me to give her wings. To free her from the physical realm to a place of peace. She would never be afraid again. She needed me now more than ever.
Today, I can sense her peace. I miss her needing me. I miss everything about her. Now, she needs me again. She needs me to celebrate the life we shared and to know that she is free. . .
You might have heard it said that when we choose a behavior we also choose the consequence. It is much the same with our dogs. However, they choose a behavior and we may be the one to provide a consequence.
A consequence isn’t only negative. Consequences are also good – very good. However, the positive doesn’t seem to get the same attention as the negative (for us or our dogs)!
As pack animals, the consequence of a dog’s choice comes in the form of acceptance or not. IT HAPPENS IN THAT MOMENT. It’s not likely that one of the dogs says “wait until your Father gets home!” or “when I tell your Mother what you’ve done, she’ll be so proud!”
In our families, if our dog exhibits a behavior that is considered good, the consequence should be IMMEDIATE praise or some sort of reward. Acknowledge it! If the behavior is not desired, then they should receive an IMMEDIATE correction – verbally or with a collar and leash.
Acknowledging your dog’s behavior in the moment will bring good consequences for both of you!
Our dogs do have something to say! This video has been around for years and it always makes me smile. Something to share on a Holiday that will make you smile.
At some training sessions, the best information I provide the client is to lower their expectations. In a time of keeping ourselves overly busy with not enough hours to get everything done, we get a new dog. There are expectations that the dog will quickly acclimate to it’s new home.
Whether it’s a puppy or a dog with a history, it will take a few weeks for it to settle into it’s environment. During that time, it’s very important that the dog learns from you where it fits in and what the “rules” are.
Or, perhaps you’ve had the dog for awhile and now realize that they didn’t automatically fit in as you had hoped. If this is the case, it my be time to start over. It may be necessary to lower your expectations.
I suggest that you expect less so that you can take the time needed to work with your dog to become a member of the family. Frustration with an apparent lack of progress, won’t help anyone. A calm, assertive, consistent leader will gain much more than a frustrated, angry, random one. It also does more harm than good to realize that you’ve been impatient with your pup, so you overcompensate by letting all rules slide.
Once you and your dog have established a relationship, that is the time to raise your expectations and to live with your dog with authority, confidence, and love.
I mention this because I remember recently when one of my dogs brought in a tiny, baby rabbit to show me. I responded with a “thank you for sharing this” quickly followed by an “oh, no.” I went outside to check and she and my other dog had found a small nest. Fortunately, there were only a few rabbits. Dogs will be dogs.
Zoe, the female who is quite the hunter, is just doing what dogs do and what is instinctive to her breed. While she responds to sit, down, stay, and come, she is also a hunter of rabbits, mice, lizards, birds, etc. I’m sure that even if I dressed her in the latest doggie fashion accessories, she’d still have caught that rabbit. But, she’d look quite stylish doing it! We don’t train instinct out of a dog. Nor should we want to – or at least not entirely.
It’s good to have our dogs respond to us and a command like “leave it” is important particularly when it’s in the dog’s best interest. However, it’s also good to know your dog and understand the instincts of the breed. For example, if you have a dog that’s considered a working breed, there are ways to channel that instinct productively. Something as simple as putting a small backpack on your dog before a walk can give it a sense of purpose. Agility classes work wonders for some breeds.
Know your dog and just remember that for as much as you know – some days DOGS WILL BE DOGS!
A jumping dog is the number one complaint of people with larger breed dogs and of the friends and family of people with little dogs who think that it doesn’t bother anyone that their dog jumps to greet them.
It’s important first to look at what we do to contribute to this response. Our front doors are typically a place of greeting – animated voices, excited energy of seeing who’s there and welcoming them into our homes. If they are dog lovers or suffer from guilt of not being, they may anxiously speak to the dog as they touch him as he’s jumping up on them. You’re telling the dog “off!” and your friends are saying “Oh, it’s okay!” I think it’s obvious to understand the confusion of the dog.
The focus is the door and the entry. Good things happen there! Your dog is not only responding to the excited energy of everyone greeting each other, but to being touched as he jumps. So, he’s also getting affection while he’s jumping. Not exactly what you want!
The other part of this is the all-important question of how much you’ve actually worked with your dog using a situation like this for training purposes. Here is one way of breaking your dog from the habit of jumping on people when they are at the door.
Stage a visit – have a friend or neighbor come over and work with you and your dog.
Put a leash on your dog and keep them back from the door far enough so that they can’t immediately jump on your guest.
Invite your guest to let themselves in and to walk past you as they ignore the dog. Yes, ask them to ignore the dog – completely! If the dog jumps as they enter, immediately correct them and have them sit (the dog, not your guest!)
When your dog is calm and sitting, you may have your guest greet them.
This may not produce instantaneous results, as it is a process. Consistency and patience will pay off and will bring better results. Your dog will learn that they get affection and praise when they are away from the door and off your guests! There are other suggested ways to work with your dog not to jump. I’ll cover those in later posts.
That’s a good question. I heard Cesar Milan make reference to the fact that dog training per se is a human thing. That’s so true! Humans developed training methods in order to live with dogs and to bring them into our environment as pets. These methods have changed almost as often as the teaching methods used by our own schools.
I have four dogs and I’ve never witnessed them conducting school where a fellow pack member is up in front teaching everyone how to sit and stay. (That would be wonderful!) Obviously, dogs learn from each other in different ways and when we can closely emulate that, we have success.
So, we bring dogs into our homes and practice our methods of teaching things like sit and stay. Amazingly, the dogs get it. They even like it! I don’t suggest that you just let your dogs be dogs without leadership, structure, and training. I do however, think it’s important to remember that we think differently than them and when we forget that, no one pays attention.
The basics of good communication with dogs is really no different than how we communicate with the people in our lives – some are difficult, some don’t seem to listen, some are hard to understand, some don’t care what we have to say, and some would do better with a different style of communication.
Be willing to listen and to try a new approach if needed – with your dogs and you can try it on your humans too.
Does your dog have a certain behavior that occurs on a regular basis? Does it go “crazy” when the gardeners show up? Does it get overly excited at fast moving cars or do they get car sick? When guests arrive do you brace yourself for the certain to happen someone’s-at-the-door-I-need-to-get-excited response?
Not to worry. Dogs get into behavioral patterns much like we do. It has been tested and proven that in order to change a human behavior, we must consistently do the desired behavior for 30 days. If we slip up one day, we’re told that we need to start the count over.
Fortunately, behavior modification in dogs can occur as quickly as one session; however, don’t be disappointed if you have to take things slowly and progressively desensitize your dog to the trigger of the undesirable behavior.
For example: If your dog always run nervously from window to window barking while the gardeners are working and your standard response is to get nervous, run after them as you yell, “NO, STOP!” – it’s time for a different approach. Assuming that your dog has been through some training, put the leash on the dog and prior to the gardeners arriving, go over the basic commands and get the dog more focused on you. It’s difficult for a dog to run franticly when they are lying down.
Be prepared. Reward for the desired behavior (verbal praise works wonders). When the gardeners arrive, the dog will be in a different frame of mind. The leash can remain on as a training tool until the behavior changes.
It’s also good to remember that if your dog is lacking in exercise and they have not been given an opportunity to use that energy it WILL be inappropriately directed toward something else.
Exercise and training combined will help immeasurably with desensitizing your dog and changing their behavior.
PUPPY MILLS ARE A TRAGEDY! It’s beyond horrible that these places exist at all. Thanks to Oprah and Lisa Ling for the investigative report exposing these farms, thousands are aware. Now, we can’t act like we don’t know that they exist. TODAY.
The ONLY way for this to stop is for us to NEVER buy a puppy from a store or a pet shop. Reputable breeders would not let their dogs be sold by someone else. They care about their dogs and the homes that they go to.
When buying a dog, don’t be embarrassed to ask a lot of questions. If the seller loves their dog, they will welcome your inquiries. You owe it to the dog and yourself.
It’s challenging not to justify buying this adorable, sweet, innocent puppy from the store because we know that it’s most likely from a puppy mill and we are going to “save” it. We may save one, but there are hundreds of other dogs that will suffer and die needlessly so we can “save” one.
What a lot of people don’t realize is that not only may their new $1500 “rescued” puppy be ill and traumatized, chances are housebreaking may be more than a challenge. These dogs pee and poop where they stand. It’s like putting them in jail without a bathroom. They have no choice. We have a choice. . .
The stores need to suffer the financial consequence of no one buying their pups and then the breeders will be put out of business.
And, if by some magical six degrees of separation this note gets to Lisa Ling, there are a couple of stores where I live that are almost guaranteed to be selling LOTS of puppy mill pups. Thanks to everyone who works to shut down the mills.
